Dear BabyF and BabyB,
A month ago today you came into my world and immediately changed me forever. The moment I heard your precious little cries as you announced your arrival my heart flooded and swelled with a kind of love I’ve never experienced before. Every moment of pain and discomfort throughout my pregnancy was completely worthwhile and became the furthest thing from my mind.
You were both kept in the nursery during that first night in the hospital because I was unable to move or care for you after the c-section delivery. Although I felt physically horrible, I felt emotionally fulfilled because I was now the mother of two precious little girls and I couldn’t wait to have you near me and in my care.
Within days your different personalities were evident, as were your different physical traits. BabyB, you seemed very relaxed and easy-going in the first days – content to sleep and nurse. From the very first day you were very vocal, humming appreciatively throughout your feedings and filling your diapers more often than I could count – even surprising us with your first poop explosion moments after we first arrived home from the hospital. BabyF, you not only resembled your Mamma in appearance but with your fiery temper as well. You very quickly let us know when you wanted something with your loud and beautiful cries and you just as quickly settled down when your needs were met. Your Daddy and I were so proud and happy and uncertain and emotional through it all.
A month ago today you came into my world and immediately changed me forever. The moment I heard your precious little cries as you announced your arrival my heart flooded and swelled with a kind of love I’ve never experienced before. Every moment of pain and discomfort throughout my pregnancy was completely worthwhile and became the furthest thing from my mind.
You were both kept in the nursery during that first night in the hospital because I was unable to move or care for you after the c-section delivery. Although I felt physically horrible, I felt emotionally fulfilled because I was now the mother of two precious little girls and I couldn’t wait to have you near me and in my care.
Within days your different personalities were evident, as were your different physical traits. BabyB, you seemed very relaxed and easy-going in the first days – content to sleep and nurse. From the very first day you were very vocal, humming appreciatively throughout your feedings and filling your diapers more often than I could count – even surprising us with your first poop explosion moments after we first arrived home from the hospital. BabyF, you not only resembled your Mamma in appearance but with your fiery temper as well. You very quickly let us know when you wanted something with your loud and beautiful cries and you just as quickly settled down when your needs were met. Your Daddy and I were so proud and happy and uncertain and emotional through it all.
During your fourth week, you both started to show signs of colic. From about 4:00pm until 9:00pm almost every evening at least one of you was inconsolable – sometimes both of you remained cranky and awake through that whole time. Daddy and I both questioned our abilities and we called on your Nonna to come to the rescue as often as she could. Three pairs of hands were much better than two pairs – especially when we were all so sleep deprived and I was still recovering from the surgery and hormonal imbalances that come postpartum. We were told that this was normal and the only thing that repeatedly got us through each evening was reminding each other that this was a temporary situation and that the colicky phase will pass by the time you’re three or four months old. I hope and pray that it doesn’t take that long and I beg each of you every evening to just go to sleep so that Daddy and I can get some rest and take better care of you. Every time I can’t console one of you, my heart breaks and I often end up crying right along with you. I promise I will keep trying to figure out what works, even through the tears and frustration and feelings of inadequacy.
In spite of the colic, this first month of your lives has been one filled with celebrations. I celebrate everything from poop-filled diapers to earth-shattering burps and sleepy smiles. Everything you do is a wonder to me and I have most often been found holding you in my arms and smiling upon your beautiful faces, cooing soft words of adoration and praise. I may not always know what to do or how to do it, but I do know that the love I feel for you reaches the furthest depths of me. I am fiercely protective of each of you. You have given me strength and happiness and purpose that I never knew would fulfill me so deeply. BabyF and BabyB, I now exist for you. Happy first month-iversary, my treasures.
Love,
Mamma